500+ Funny Birthday Wishes (2022)

Are you looking for funny birthday wishes? If yes, then this article is for you. You can use funny birthday wishes to make your loved ones laugh, but they are usually cringe-worthy! Try to remember the simpler times before the internet and save these funny birthday messages for your best friends. After all, it’s their birthday! So make their day!

Funny Birthday Wishes

Aging is the worst side effect of birthdays.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Another year older… and you still can’t grow a beard.

Another year older and you’re one step closer to getting those Velcro shoes!

At least you’re not as old as you will be next year… if you make it!

As you get older, three things happen. The first thing is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest! (But it has also been scientifically proven that too many will kill you.)

Birthdays are like spotting Bigfoot. You really do want to see them but you’re a little afraid of what they’ll look like…

Birthdays are like cheese. They stink more the older they get.

Funny Birthday Wishes for Best Friend

By the time you’re your age, you’ve learned everything – you only have to remember it! Many happy returns on your birthday.

Birthdays are like vacations. You don’t have one too often and they come and go too quickly.

Congratulations on the th anniversary of your [XX]th birthday! Here’s to many more.

Congratulations on being a year older and still maintaining such a low level of maturity; you are truly an inspiration.

Congratulations on getting slightly older!

Congratulations! You are now old enough to need TWO packs of candles for your cake.

Fill in the gaps: H___Y B__T____ … nice try- HAIRY BUTTOCKS.

Don’t worry about your age… alcohol will make it all better!

Funny Birthday Wishes

Getting older is just part of life… and the other parts are even worse.

Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.

Great news! …you’re still alive!

Getting someone as awesome as me to send a birthday message to you, has undoubtedly been your biggest achievement this year.

Birthday Wishes Funny

Happy birthday – I’m so glad you’ll always be older than me

Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.

Happy birthday – So far, this is the oldest you’ve ever been!

Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I’m returning the favor. Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?

Happy birthday! Here is a piece of card to show you how little I care…

I decided to keep having birthdays because it beats the alternative… Death.

I couldn’t think of a message that would make you laugh for your birthday card… you’re too boring…

I regret to inform you that your childhood has EXPIRED.

I hope your birthday is better than the card I sent you…

Funny Birthday Wishes for Sister

If anyone calls you old this birthday, just hit him with your walking stick and throw your teeth at him.

I thought you might need some help with the candles. Happy Birthday!

I will stop making age jokes on your birthday now… you’ve reached the age where it’s genuinely not funny anymore.

If I made fun of how many years old you are, it would be beyond funny.

If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them!

If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!

If you look back through all the years you’ve lived, the first thing you’ll notice is that you need a telescope.

Birthday Funny Wishes

It’s OK to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.

I’m so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn’t think you would live this long. Happy Birthday!

It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Just remember the more candles on the cake, the bigger the cake you’ll get! Now who’s laughing?

May your Facebook wall be filled with birthday wishes from people you’ve never met, haven’t seen in years, or genuinely couldn’t care less about.

Life was meant to be celebrated more often than just one day a year. Man, you’re missing opportunities the other  days!

Funny Birthday Wishes for Brother

On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship… and all that stuff that doesn’t cost anything.

On your birthday don’t forget to set goals that are sky high, and spend the rest of the year miserably trying to build a rocket to get there.

Remember that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional!

Remember that age is just a number… just a really, REALLY high one in your case!

Right, let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night ????

Smart, good looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday!

Seriously, I don’t know how many more of your birthdays I can handle.

Birthday Wishes for Sister Funny

The old pessimist focuses on his growing number. The old optimist focuses on his growing blessings.

Technically you’re not  You’re only $, plus tax!

The secret to staying young is make up… make up an age, then stick with it!

The older you get, the more disoriented your hair gets. Once it leaves your head, it seems to get lost.

There’s really only one true birthday. The rest are simply anniversaries of the day of a person’s birth.

We all knew this day was coming. It’s best to just suck it up and accept it’s no longer acceptable for you to eat a happy meal in public.

Two things that are inevitable for any living person are birthdays and taxes.

Happy Birthday Wishes Funny

What are you so happy about? It’s your birthday and you are going to have to spend a lot of money to keep us happy. At least have fun doing it!

Well done – you have still been alive for several years!

Why did the teddy bear refuse a slice of birthday cake? He was already stuffed.

You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!

Yes, we have reached that age… when every compliment we get is usually followed by ‘for your age’. You’re still looking great though… for your age!

You’re the least famous person I know of who was born on your birthday.

A little gray hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.

[For under s:] You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!

Funny Birthday Wishes for Girl Best Friend

A man has reached middle age when he’s warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.

A wise man once said, “Forget about your past, you cannot change it”. I’d like to add: “Forget about your present, I didn’t get you one”.

A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age.

Age doesn’t make you forgetful: having too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful!

At least you’re not as old as you’ll be this time next year.

Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.

Birthday Wishes Funny for Friend

Deepest sympathies on your [insert age] birthday.

At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified and sober…. Disappoint them.

Because it’s far too difficult to put them on the bottom.

Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.

Congratulations, you’ve finally reached the wonder years… wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?

Did you hear about the [insert age] year old who was still cool? Yeah, me neither.

Don’t grow up… It’s a trap!

Do you know why candles are always put on top of birthday cakes?

Happy Birthday Funny Wishes

Don’t think of it as turning [insert age]. We’re here to celebrate the th anniversary of your [insert age -]th birthday.

Don’t let aging get you down… it’s too hard to get back up again!

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Don’t worry, they are not gray hairs, they are wisdom highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise.

Funny Happy Birthday Wishes

Happy birthday! Don’t forget to iron that birthday suit.

Happy Birthday Dad! When I grow up I want to be just like you… but hopefully with more hair! Love, your son.

Happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who’s smart and funny and good-looking, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all your best qualities.

Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.

Happy birthday! And remember you’re not [insert age] …you’re  with [XX] years’ experience.

Happy birthday!! You only look as old as the last selfie you took.

Happy Birthday! Don’t think of this as a late birthday card. Consider it a very early one for next year. Here’s wishing you a wonderful year ahead!

Funny Birthday Wishes for Friend

Happy birthday. It took you [insert age] years to look this good!

I always limit my budget on buying birthday gifts according to what that person gave me as a gift on my birthday. Enjoy your gift of nothing!

Happy st again!

I know you think this card is a few days late. It’s actually worse than that. This is your card from  that I only just got around to sending. Happy Belated Birthday!

I spent hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you and then I gave up. Happy Birthday.

I promise this card isn’t late. It is intentionally arriving after your birth-day, because I think you deserve a whole birth-month. Happy Birth-month!

I wouldn’t say you’re old… you’ve just been young for longer than most of us.

If things get better with age, then you’re approaching magnificent!

If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you’re a genius!

Funny Birthday Wishes for Friends

If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember…You can always change your birthday on Facebook!

Looking [insert age] is great – if you’re sixty.

Just imagine all the things you’d want to hear on your birthday …and assume I wrote them here!

Middle age… when “happy hour” is a nap!

Middle age is when your age begins to show around your middle.

The best part of being over forty is that you did most your stupid stuff before the internet.

Personalize these happy birthday funny wishes with the age of the person.

Birthday Wishes for Funny Friend

The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.

They say you lose your mind as you grow older… what they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it much!

The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.

We’ll be friends ’til we’re old and senile… and then we’ll be new friends!

What goes up but never comes down? Your age.

What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I’ll never part with it!

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.

When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.

You know you’re  when your back is hairier than your head.

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.

Birthday Wishes for Brother Funny

You know you’re old when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor’s office.

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well pee while I’m here.”

You know you’re old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.

You know, they say that age is really all in the mind. The key is to prevent it from trickling down into your body.

You know, I would be a whole lot more excited about you turning one year older if I was in your will. Happy Birthday!

You’re ? That’s only  in Celsius. Happy birthday!

You’re not old! …oh, no wait, actually you are, sorry about that…

You’re how old?! Better take that cake outdoors to light the candles! Have a very happy birthday.

Funny Birthday Wishes for Friend Male

You’re turning the perfect age. You’re old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make some more. Happy birthday!

You’re older; you’re wiser; you’re sophisticated. Far too sophisticated to be concerned with material things like presents.

You’ve got more than half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be awesome… if you could remember any of it.

Youth is a gift of nature but age is a work of art.

Final Words

Hope you liked this huge collection of Funny Birthday Wishes do share it with your friends, family and loved ones, please share your thoughts in the comments section below!

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